Return of the Obsessive Compulsive Disorders
by JediYvette
Summary: Third in the series--Enjoy!


Return of the Obsessive Compulsive Disorders  
Obsessive Compulsive Star Wars Episode 3  
  
  
Disclaimer: I STILL DO NOT OWN STAR WARS-not yet, anyway...  
  
"Wow!" Yoda exclaimed, looking into his wash machine, "Works just as well as regular bleach on my white clothes that Oxy Clean does, and the colored ones brighter were made!" Suddenly, he was mindlessly grabbing every article of clothes off the floor of his hut, including his Bill & Ted t-shirt, and his polyester red and yellow striped pants with golden sequins. Excitedly, he threw them all into the wash machine, impatiently waiting to see how clean his already clean clothes would become.  
  
"Vader!' bellowed the emperor, "Where is my lemon fresh hand lotion? I seem to have misplaced it." He looked around his chair, but did not get up. Vader-mad that the Emperor woke him up at 3 in the morning, wandered into the Emperor's throne room in him flannel My Little Ponies pajamas, and bunny slippers, with a green facial cleansing mask over his regular black one. "Here it is," he replied sleepily, picking something off ground by the door he had just entered "I thought I told you to pick it up after you were done playing field hockey with it."  
  
Han Solo sat on the floor of the Millenium Falcon, constructing space ships with Legos. Having just bought 37 packages of Legos, he was attempting to build a life-size replica of the Millenium Falcon-It was not working. "Garbage Head!" Han screamed at the Lego tower that had just fallen over, "Why can't a lousy 15 foot tower stay up on its on?"  
  
"And so, Wind Whistler," Vader replied, holding up a pink My Little Pony, speaking with a rather asthma-patient-sounding falsetto, "We have to save Paradise Estate from the Evil forces of the Rainbow of Darkness." Then Vader picked up a purplish one, and in the same voice replied, "But the Rainbow of Light will help us! Megan says that it will save us all. Now, come on Buttons, the Pony Picnic is going on." From the distance, Vader heard the Emperor scream, "Stupid lid!" Tossing the plastic ponies aside, he got up off the ground, and went to see what stupid thing the Emperor was doing with his hand lotion this time.  
  
Yoda stood in front of his wash machine, rapping on the sides with his grimer stick. It was just going to slow. He had thrown in the hook latch rug he got at the flea market, his Kool-Aid stained drapes, and every linen napkin he could find into the machine. "Hurray you will!" he exclaimed, "Three loads of towels I have that re-clean I must with that Oxy Clean."  
  
"This raspberry fruit lotion sure smells good," the Emperor commented, and then called for Vader, "I need more of this, go to the store and get more. I want strawberry and grape. I want them both in assorted sizes, and styles. These hands must have the best." With that, he held out his knobby yellowed hands. It to every ounce of self control for Vader not the throw up. Then he left to go to the store. They had a sale on My Little Ponies there.  
  
  
Chewbacca stood outside of the local Barnes and Nobles, with armfuls of books. Danielle Steele was autographing books, and he wanted every one of his signed. All 13. After he was dragged from the store, after throwing a temper tantrum when he was told there was a limit of four books, he went to Borders, and walked straight to the romance novel section. Randomly, he threw handfuls of books into his cart, and checked out. That should last him a few hours, he thought.  
  
"They have Fabulous Hair Butter Cup!" replied Vader to himself, standing in a very crowded Toys R Us. He grabbed the My Little Pony off the shelf, and started to look for a package of some hair accessories for it. He got lost and wandered into the action figure section. He noticed a figure of a short green guy with a cane, and ears like a mutated rabbit. "Who'd buy garbage like that?" he thought. Then he saw the pony brushes.  
  
Han screamed, "Stupid Legos!' from inside the Millenium Falcon. He expected Chewbacca to rush in, wanting to help Han. However, he was in the captain's chair reading a romance novel, and eating popcorn. Angry, Han threw a handful of Legos at him, but he did not notice. He was right at a very steamy love scene.  
  
The Emperor poured a glob of lotion onto his weathered hands, inhaling the berry fumes. "I love strawberry," he moaned, then reached for another bottle, and poured it's contains on his hands too, "I love grape, too."  
  
Yoda hurriedly pulled the last set of towels out of the dryer, and critically inspected them. "Oxy clean, I love." He commented when he noticed there was not a stain on any of them. Getting up from the floor, he noticed it was dirty. Panicking he pushed aside all the towels, and got on his hands and knees, and looked at the carpet. Staring, he saw footmarks, and dirt stains. He jumped up and grabbed his tub of Oxy Clean. He then started to pour the remaining grains of detergent on the floor, and then went outside. Grabbing his hose, he rushed back in, and soaked the floor. "Clean you will be, yes," Yoda then replied.  
  
Vader, accompanied by the rest of the My Little Pony fan club, wondered the local toy store. A new line of ponies had just come out, and the club had to inspect them-to make sure that the toys would be able to carry the My Little Pony name. Being at least 3 feet taller than the fourteen 10-year-old girls, Vader was able to grab the crates of yet-to-be-unloaded toys. Pulling apart the boxes, the club members looked at the new toys. "I don't remember Wind Whistler having yellow hair," a girl remarked. "That's because," Vader replied, "You have not seen the newest movie, Wind Whistler goes Postal. She dyes her hair to escape from the police." The girl stared at Vader, replying, "You are so smart."  
  
Throwing his Legos out into space, Han angrily muttered, "All I wanted was to build a Millenium falcon. Is that asking too much?" Pacing across the floor, he kicked a Lego he missed. Picking it up, he started to cry. After several hours of sobbing, he landed his ship and went to a store, buying more Legos. Sitting on the ground, he started constructing a life-size X-Wing. "This should be easier," he replied.  
  
The Emperor tried walking to the refrigerator to get a Lunchable, when he stepped on a bottle of hand lotion. Purple lotion sprayed onto the walls, and the floor, and the Emperor fell face first into a pile of grape scented lotion. Rising, with a purple face, he replied, "I like grape!"  
  
Tearing out his moldy carpet, Yoda muttered, "Garbage this is! Clean this carpet will not!" Rolling up a small section of rug, saturated in soapy water, Yoda mumbled, "Should have used more Oxy Clean, I did. Stupid, I was to buy the only 20-pound tub. Order the 50 pound one, I must!" Dropping the carpet, which landed with a spat, Yoda ran to phone, just to slip on the soapy wood floor he uncovered. "Snarfulpopper," he screamed.  
  
The End  
  
  



End file.
